randomchaos is doing a daily Japanese lesson! Here’s all the old lessons, so you can catch up, and this link always shows the latest.

Remember that thing from a few weeks ago where the government was going to allow people to bet on terrorist attacks, and pay off whoever come closest to the actual retail price, without going over, or whatever it was? And then how it was killed because it was not only a remarkably stupid idea but also quite distasteful?

It’s back! Now with extra skullduggery!

(via IP)

donutcall.com: National Donut Call Registry

Q: If I register on the National Donut Call Registry, will it stop all donuts from entering my house?

A: No. Registering your number on the National Donut Call Registry will stop most, but not all, Donuts entering your house. You may still be able to stop an the local convenience store and purchase stale old donuts placed there from that morning. Also traveling groups of donut bakers are exempt. However you must put your current Donut provider on notice or they will be exempt from this registry.

I’d like to be the first to congratulate the citizens of the great state of California on your (projected) new Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You idiots.

This gigantic spider lives in our picture window, thankfully, on the outside. I think he thinks he has the best web location ever, not realizing that he’s inches away from a window. Maybe bugs also don’t know that there’s a window there. But this spider looks more like he eats mice, birds, cats, and maybe small children.

He’s about an inch long, and sometimes rears up on his back legs when you get too close, like when you set your camera on macro and put it about 3 inches away.

The first few weeks living in this house, I used to sometimes get a face full of web trying to get in the side door. I think it was this spider’s web I was breaking, becuase I saw him hanging around that door a few days later. At night, I swear, he appears green and slightly flourescent. I think I’m lucky to be alive.

You can click on these last two front and back views, if you like, for high resolution shots.

PIPA yesterday released a study: Misperceptions, The Media and The Iraq War (PDF). Here’s a handy graph that sums up the results, published in The Mercury News:

Now here’s the question I have: Does watching Fox News cause stupidity? Or does stupidity cause watching Fox News? Or are they merely highly correlated due to some external factor: For example, does conservatism cause both stupidity AND the watching of Fox News? More studies are required.

Jenny called me “skinny pig” and, almost as a reflex, I typed it into Google. This is what I found.

1. A girl named Skinny Pig. Here are pictures of her in Taiwan. And here are pictures of her coke bottle and can collection.

2. Skinny Pigs, the pure evil cousins of Guinea Pigs. I have never seen these before. I wish I still never had.

Apparently they make great pets. Here’s even more pictures, if you like hairless rodents with glowing red eyes.

3. Then I noticed a line of text on one of the pages advertising skinny pigs, containing a sequence of words I had previously thought impossible: “We sell pet and show quality rats!”

Show Quality Rats. There is such thing as Show Quality Rats. There is also such thing as a “Rattery”. It keeps getting worse the more I dig into these pages. I finally lost it when I found one with information about how to show your rat at a rat show:

The rats are bathed, nails cut, and they look healthy. They are lined up on the table. Who will win the rat show? Will it be the one with the fanciest color or markings? Or will it be the quiet plain black one on the end?

For many, attending a rat show is a satisfying and enjoyable part of the rat fancy. You can meet new people and possibly take home ribbons. But, it also can be confusing if it is your first time. Rats win by one point and understanding what goes on in a rat show will increase your fun and odds of winning.

In fact, there are about 16,000 pages that contains the word Rattery, and an entire Open Directory category devoted to it. There are also about 400 pages containing the phrase “rat fancy”.

Am I just naive? Am I revealing my lack of experience? Should I have known about rattery already?

…

OK, that’s it. This can’t be happening. This is a dream, and when I wake up and load my weblog, this post will not be here. I have discovered a “rattie” skin pack for “The Sims”.

There’s two somewhat odd people who work in my building. Not for my company, but in my building.

The first guy is on crutches, and is almost always hanging around the front door of the building, smoking a big fat pipe. He is young, and very friendly looking. He wears lots of flannel. He looks like the type of guy that would say “How you doin?” to you if you made eye contact with him, so I always have to very carefully not look at him, without appearing to be actively avoiding it. He’s out there, smoking, with his crutches leaned up against the wall next to him, all the time. Whether I’m coming in, leaving for lunch, or randomly going out in the afternoon to do something, he’s almost always there. I’ve been working here for over two years, and as far as I recall, he’s always been there. My gut feel is that he’s a CIA agent or simliar.

The second guy is stranger. He’s an intense, fast moving asian guy. I’m not going to try to say exactly what nationality because it’s been shown that I score no better than chance on that question, but I will say that he looks a lot like the wrestler Tajiri, who is supposed to be Japanese, but much skinnier. The thing that makes this guy odd is that when he leaves work for the day, he emerges from the building wearing a surgical type glove on one hand. I’m not quite sure which hand it is. As he’s walking to his car, he removes the glove, and throws it on the ground. I’ve seen him do this three of four times when I happen to be leaving at the same time as him. Other days when he’s left earlier than me, I see the glove sitting on the ground out in the parking lot. This glove dropping is highly ritualized, because the glove always ends up in a very specific area of the parking lot, within a radius of not more than 5 or 10 feet. And I know I’m not just seeing the same glove over and over again because it will not be there in the morning, but appear in the afternoon, or vice versa. Why just one glove? Why not take it off and throw it away at work? These mysteries torture me.

Usually the discarded glove is quite clean, but one time it was covered with a substance of the same color and consistency as salsa.

I finally thought of one before robot wisdom or NTK:

* eye for the * guy.

800 down, 130 up.

Remember my table of Ridiculously Large Chinese Numbers, and More Than Infinite at Ponderful.org?

Robert Mufano has collected numbers that make those look like toys.

is, without question, Sally’s. Anyone who says otherwise is crazy.

Exhibit A: My post below about the nuclear wasps: jwz must be busy with the nightclub or something, so I’ll have to post this for him: I, for one, welcome our new RADIOACTIVE WASP MASTERS.

Exhibit B: jwz today: yes yes, our new nuclear wasp masters, etc etc…

He’s disabled non-LJ member posting so I can’t go over there and make fun of him for being so predicable in his old age.

jwz must be busy with the nightclub or something, so I’ll have to post this for him: I, for one, welcome our new RADIOACTIVE WASP MASTERS.

At H Reactor, these 1/2- to 3/4-inch-long wasps are picking up their mud from the complex’s contaminated spent nuclear fuel basin, Nelson said.

Bechtel workers are scraping off the nests and sending them to central Hanford’s low-level radioactive waste burial grounds.

[…]

Unfound radioactive nests will shelter larvae hibernating with their dead spiders through the fall and winter.

When spring comes, the larvae will awaken.

To pupate. To mutate. To eat.

And then break loose.

dangerousmeta! is back, and how has an RSS feed, comments, and Capital Letters.

Ftrain is somehow all different now. There’s new content my aggregator didn’t pick up. It’s because his RSS feed went 404!

I heard Paul Ford (the Ftrain guy) on the radio the other day talking about pidgins, creoles, esparanto, pidgerantos, and esperidgins. I liked it, but I liked this older one about his computer better:

My computer talks to me. It makes promises. Usually this happens late at night, when the blue gleam of its screen is the only light on my block, and the clacking of my typing is the only thing in the room. In that almost silent moment, it whispers, “I can make you powerful.”

If you’ve never checked out Ftrain, go now, it’s very very good.

Done! We own the house! Pictures later at m.info.

You know how you always read those whimsical news reports about this bookie or that bookie giving whatever odds on Saddam being alive, or aliens touching down, or Michael and Latoya Jackson being the same person? It turns out that Uncle Sam wants to be that bookie, and base national policy on how the bets are going. The thinking goes, gamblers aren’t stupid. If lots of them are betting that Saddam is dead, then he’s probably dead. They prove that this (what they call “market based”) method works with this helpful graphic:

See how the “Market Method” arrow hits right at the center? You can’t lose!

Here’s the page at DARPA about the project: FutureMap

And here’s a news story about it. Apparently this idea has already secured $3 million in funding from the House, but is having trouble in the Senate.

Now before you tell me that this is somehow different from taking bets and making odds, read this summary of an earlier version of this project (search for Electronic Market-Based Decision Support):

Typically, the market maker issues a basket of contracts covering a set of events that is mutually exclusive and exhaustive. Market participants trade the issued contracts freely, buying and selling individual contracts through an electronic market. When the outcome is known, the market maker pays off only the winning contracts; before the outcome is known, the prices reflect market opinion of the probability of each outcome.

It turns out Ted is human after all!

Here’s his site!

Sorry Ted!

My latest stupid project at work is INVENTORY MANAGEMENT. We’ve got some ridiculously expensive inventory database thing and I have to see if I can summon the massive technology required to actually put inventory data in it, using a Palm equipped with a barcode scanner. The Palm showed up today and I am currently on a SCANNING FRENZY. I frequently aim the laser directly into peoples eyes and then say “BEEP”. I also pretend I’m Spock (or Data) and scan for life signs. What’s that little song Data sang? Scanning for life signs, scanning for life signs, I love scanning for life signs. I couldn’t quite remember, so I went to Google and typed in something absolutely meaningless and guaranteed not to find anything good like “data life forms song” and guess what I got as the first result???!?!?!

Data’s lifeforms song

And then in typical mind-blowing internet fashion, here’s the SECOND result. Inspired by that song, some guy wrote a Dr. Seuss version of a typical star trek episode:

One Lifeform, Two Lifeforms. Red Lifeforms, Blue Lifeforms:

Data:
Captain, sir, my scanners show
Several life forms down below.
Sir, these life forms are in trouble.
Beam them up, sir, on the double.

Picard:
Data, we can’t beam them here!
The Prime Directive’s very clear.
Worf! Take Riker, Crusher too!
Go down and see what you can do!!

Worf:
Data, your emotion chip
Has turned you into one big drip.
Where did all your logic go?
“Beam them up from down below???”

Picard:
Mr. Worf, I’ve heard enough.
Being an Android’s very tough.
Now get a move on, please just go
To the planet. Make it so.

TAIPEI, Taiwan (AP) — Their weird glowing green color makes them look like they’ve been swimming in a nuclear plant’s spent fuel pond.

But the zebra fish on sale in Taipei shops have an even stranger background: They’re the latest in genetically modified fish, and their bodies contain DNA from jellyfish, which makes them shimmer in the dark.

Shopkeepers call them “Night Pearls.” Some have nicknamed them “Frankenfish.” Their makers at the Taipei-based Taikong Corp. use the less catchy name of “TK-1″ and say they are the world’s first genetically engineered fluorescent fish.

I’m glad to see Taiwan leading the way to the future. But I’m surprised the article is missing one important detail, especially considering the fish are available in Taiwan: How do they taste?

ROBOT ASTRONAUT:

“Oh Steve,” you’re thinking, “this does not spell our impending robot-inflicted doom. It’s just a helpful robotic astronaut. So what if they made it look just like Boba Fett? What harm could it cause us? It doesn’t even have legs! It doesn’t have, for instance, an M249 Squad Automatic Weapon, or the M240G Medium Machine Gun, or a 9 mm Uzi, or an Anti-Personnel/Obstacle Breaching System (APOBS)”

GLADIATOR TACTICAL UNMANNED GROUND VEHICLE:

It looks like something out of Robocop, a mini tank-treaded terror bristling with so many cannon and guns that only a Hollywood screenwriter could have dreamed it up.

It’s designed to be RoboMarine — technically the Gladiator Tactical Unmanned Ground Vehicle — and proponents say it would have come in handy in trouble spots ranging from Somalia, Kosovo and Bosnia to Afghanistan and Iraq.

As unmanned aerial vehicles like the Predator continue to chalk up successes, with more than 10 UAVs utilized in Operation Iraqi Freedom, the Marine Corps expects to be the first service to field a robot for crowd control.

The Gladiator is loaded with all sorts of gadgets and weaponry, including day and night cameras, a chemical detection system, Light Vehicle Obscuration Smoke System, and is mounted with either M249 Squad Automatic Weapon, the M240G Medium Machine Gun, 9 mm Uzi or an Anti-Personnel/Obstacle Breaching System (APOBS).

We already knew that the US military is holding hundreds of prisoners in some sort of weasel-worded legal limbo at Camp X-Ray or Camp Delta or whatever they’re calling it now. We already knew that they’re setting up a fake legal system there, complete with military judges, military prosecutors, and military-appointed defense lawyers. Of course, the accused will also have full access to independent lawyers, as long as they can pay for them themselves. Oh, and the independent lawyers will not be able to see any classified information, which includes all the evidence. We even already knew that work has started on execution chambers there. I guess the military is feeling pretty confident that they’ll be “winning” (whatever that means) lots of cases.

What is new (at least to me) in this article is this: (emphasis mine)

The Pentagon officials also raised the possibility that the military might continue to hold the suspects even if they are acquitted by a tribunal. The prisoners’ status as “unlawful combatants” in the war against terrorism is separate from their guilt or innocence on charges brought before a tribunal, a military official involved in the tribunal process said.

(via dangerousmeta!)

Learn proper Japanese pronunciation, and Katakana at the same time!

House: They won’t fix everything we want, but we’re taking it anyway. Closing in T-31 days…

Class: Just had the midterm. During the second half of the class, we have to form “teams” and work on a “project” “together” which is not my preferred way of doing things. We’re supposed to take an existing program and refactor it to be chock full of patterns. Maybe we can use this one?

THE LONG AWAITED OFFICIAL MESSY-78 POSITION STATEMENT ON RSS, PIE, VALIDATION, <)) ECHO ((>, SSF, XML-RPC CHARSETS, AND WHATEVER ELSE IS GOING ON: I dunno.

More Brain Power Needed for Mandarin Than English

Using brain scans on volunteers, Scott discovered that different areas of the brain are used to interpret words and intonation.

The left temporal lobe of the brain is active when English speakers hear the language but Mandarin speakers use the left and right lobe, which is normally used to process melody in music and speech.

Intonation is important in Mandarin because it gives different meanings to the same word. The word “ma” for example can mean mother, scold, horse or hemp, depending on the tone.

“We think Mandarin speakers interpret intonation and melody in the right temporal lobe to give the correct meaning to the spoken word,” Scott said in a statement.

She believes the research could provide insights into what happens when people are forced to re-learn speech comprehension following a stroke.

“It seems that the structure of the language you learn as a child affects how the structure of your brain develops to decode speech. Native English speakers, for example, find it extraordinarily difficult to learn Mandarin,” Scott said.

donotcall.gov, the national Do Not Call registry, (cool URL, nice job,) is online, but currently seems swamped with traffic.

It let me click the “Register” button…

“Connection refused”… retrying…

Entered my number…. Submit…. AAhhhh! Stil can’t get through! Anyway. It’ll probably be up by later today. Don’t forget to register!

Things are still going well. The home inspection revealed a few small problems, which we’ve asked the sellers to fix before closing. They have until Tuesday to respond.

Today Jenny and I spent the day going around to electronics and home stores, looking at all the various things we might buy for the new place. Surround speakers, a Weber, rugs, new kitchen stuff, paint, window treatments, washer dryers, outdoor furniture… The possibilities of how we can upgrade and customize are pretty exciting! Up until now we’ve always lived in apartments and have never felt that we should be buying “permanent” stuff.

T-39 days until closing…

We got the house, and are now in the Critical Section between contract and closing. INSPECTION is on Friday.

Golden Kitty. A steal at ¥400,000!

The famous girl from StarbucksPhotos.com, Yvonne (center):

…is coming to the USA to study, and in fact, may stay with us for a few days before her classes start! With any luck, it will be in our new house.

Update: The messy-78 oversight committee has ruled that images of puppies in danger do not meet community standards.

Plus some bonus pictures for you. Susan and Aidan:

And, Chris and Ellen’s new house! It’s finished (really) and they’ve moved in. 我們的呢?

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