Prodigious Tedium
My latest stupid project at work is INVENTORY MANAGEMENT. We’ve got some ridiculously expensive inventory database thing and I have to see if I can summon the massive technology required to actually put inventory data in it, using a Palm equipped with a barcode scanner. The Palm showed up today and I am currently on a SCANNING FRENZY. I frequently aim the laser directly into peoples eyes and then say “BEEP”. I also pretend I’m Spock (or Data) and scan for life signs. What’s that little song Data sang? Scanning for life signs, scanning for life signs, I love scanning for life signs. I couldn’t quite remember, so I went to Google and typed in something absolutely meaningless and guaranteed not to find anything good like “data life forms song” and guess what I got as the first result???!?!?!
And then in typical mind-blowing internet fashion, here’s the SECOND result. Inspired by that song, some guy wrote a Dr. Seuss version of a typical star trek episode:
One Lifeform, Two Lifeforms. Red Lifeforms, Blue Lifeforms:
Data:
Captain, sir, my scanners show
Several life forms down below.
Sir, these life forms are in trouble.
Beam them up, sir, on the double.Picard:
Data, we can’t beam them here!
The Prime Directive’s very clear.
Worf! Take Riker, Crusher too!
Go down and see what you can do!!Worf:
Data, your emotion chip
Has turned you into one big drip.
Where did all your logic go?
“Beam them up from down below???”Picard:
Mr. Worf, I’ve heard enough.
Being an Android’s very tough.
Now get a move on, please just go
To the planet. Make it so.
REPLY))
if you put that file in winmap, and put it on infinite repeat, and then proceed to listen to it, it slowly drives you mad. It made my eye twitch.
REPLY))
as did it to me… O_O i am now officially deranged.
REPLY))
GRREAT poem! *LOL* I mean… those rhymes and… well, all in all, it’s just superb and I fell laughing from my seat when i read it! keep up the good work mate! :)